What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
