im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
