...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
