Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
