Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize