You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
