I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
