HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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