ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize