maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
