It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Randomize
