every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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