note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm like, not good at living.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
