Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
