every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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