I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
