she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
