I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
