GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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