I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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