Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I accidentally burped into my bong.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
