your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
