I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
