The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she looked like the before picture.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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