How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
