I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
