im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
