so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
