He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
