i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
