Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Randomize
