I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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