i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
