I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize