I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
