dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She even gives head with a lisp.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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