Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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