whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
