Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
