So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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