May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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