so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
