he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
