WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
