He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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