then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
