What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
