If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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