I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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