Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
