My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
