they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We need to get me chipped asap
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
