ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
