I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
