i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
