If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize