yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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