So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
