i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
