Have you finally orgasmed yet?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
this boner is exhausting
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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