you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
