So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize