She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize