How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize